It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. Michael: So, are we having the full English breakfast? A buffer between Partridge and the people he comes in to contact with. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. Everyone's here. We're on a submarine. In fact, were in not for Lynn keeping Alan in check, most of the events of Im Alan Partridge would never have happened. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Through various TV shows, film, book and even podcasts, Partridges squeaky sensibility and dated take on British life have endeared him to millions of fans and helped inspire other comedy shows. ", 14. Peter Linehan: We haven't met but I liked your chat show. By NME Blog. Tony Hayers: Well, unfortunately for you, I am the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. I think we all did. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? No! And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988., The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills., Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman., Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine., For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. united states. Quotes.net. Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign., I woke with a start. Johnson and Johnson. Share it in the comments. I've just lost a pint of blood. I'm not playing that again. I mean, people forget that traders need access to *DIXONS*! It would burst wouldn't it? 2023. Lynn Benfield: Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. Were not sure this station actually exists, but we can definitely say Partridge hates the UK capital. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. At a sparsely attended funeral, his casket has been blessed and lowered into the ground. [a pause as Alan tries to think of something else]. Michael: And then I'd go looking for Tom Donaldson. Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! Alan Partridge: If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Backfired. Jill: "I don't recall saying that." He also thinks Wings was Paul McCartneys best band. Blood dribbles down. Top Alan Partridge Lynn Quotes Appearance rules the world. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. Could go your way; could go mine. You, look at you, do you, uh go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall? Will this show on my invoice?. 26. I have to say, Pat, kids dont make you happy. Tony Hayers: Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? There's a demonstration model tied to the chair with a skipping rope by that woman. Alan Partridge: Yeah, give me another series, you sh*t. [Tony Hayers has told Alan that although there won't be another series of his chat show, he'll still be open to any other ideas in future, so Alan seizes the opportunity to pitch his ideas for programs]. ", Alan discusses honesty: "I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said 'How do I look?' But she also likes doing a good job: I think in her car outside she does a 'yes!' whenever. Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. 23. Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNabb. Although she occcasionally stood up to him,she was shot down by his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns. I mean, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS *! LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Go on. 2. This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Alan Partridge; Online Features; More from Culture. Tony Hayers: [laughs] No! I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there? Love is in the air! Presumably an infected spinal column in a bap. ago. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Fires. Something to pitch to Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday. Partridge cautions viewers against the freegan lifestyle. Lynn isprobably the only person that Alan has been close to in his life for longer than a few months, and while that might sound like a good thing, it also means shes also the only person hes comfortable in controlling and manipulating. Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! ", 6. I just think it's time for you to consider moving on to new pastures. [Another short pause before the penny drops], Estate Agent: Sure, sure! Er, sorry. [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. Maybes, maybes just have, like, a beefburger for your palm, y'know? All rights reserved. 24. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). Some of the most unhappy times of my life have been with my children. Share; Comments; News. My face was designed as a leisure accessory. You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. I will remain Pontius Partridge. Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. "I'm Alan Partridge" quotes from the BBC television series "I'm Alan Partridge", "On The Hour" quotes from the BBC Radio 4 program "On The Hour". 18:00, 14 MAY 2021; . Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant Alan Partridge: Yeah, you're a rotten sh*t too, get your coat! Its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios. [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. By. But, er, they're very nice. Michael: Aye. Mind you, I have been here ten weeks. He must have a foot like a traction engine. Never, never criticise Muslims. Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night. Thanks very much for the gearknob, and good night. And not a very good book. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. Alan Partridge: Stand down, at ease you're not in the army anymore. Jesus. Back of the net!" 8. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Other names Alan Partridge: [Dismissively] Uh-uh. Discovery alleges that Paramount undercut their $500 million deal. All do that with your fingers round your eye. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. Urrgh. ", Alan responds to Irish history: If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if youre a fussy eater., Alan responds to being fired: Smell my cheese!, Alan on the Daily Mail: Its arguably the best newspaper in the world. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. Alan Partridge: Very cheap to make. Enjoy it. Lynn, I pierced my foot on a point! I cant put it back on. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. The humor is off-beat, and you have to spend some time getting used to it. Clearly likeable and easy to get along with especially with her boss absent Lynn provides a much-needed counterbalance. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. sweet tooth Alan Partridge: They've rebadged it, you fool! Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Erm, terrible idea. Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. Michael: Aye. He goes, 'No, no!' Alan Partridge is never short of a quip or a quote for any situation, and he has loads of love and dating advice for this Valentine's Day. But a happy one. Alan Partridge: Sleep well, Michael. Partridge offering a medical diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn. Here. Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. But if you told me 25 years ago that I would be talking about rigid inflatable hulls with Dale Winton I would probably have spat at you. I can read you like a book. Appearances Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Lynn: Good. Tony Hayers: Why would I want to do that? [Jill has just smeared Alan with chocolate mousse, there is a knock at the door. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Have I got a second series? So, er, thanks. Ive a powerful suck and soon theyll be whittled away to nothing. In 2021, Partridge now exists almost as its own entity, separate from Coogan, and has provided the general public with more quotes (most of which are now part of the daily lexicon) and memorable moments than we can even remember. I wanted to see Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton. Lynn Benfield: Now, Alan, you're going to have to trade down your Rover 800 for a smaller car. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." Peter Linehan: [to Tony] Give him another series, you swine! A skipping rope by that woman the cheese into tony Hayers at BBC alan partridge lynn quotes! The unsung hero of the Partridge saga Alan tries to think of something else ] gearknob and... Have been here ten weeks big game ( and would hesitate to even traps! Most unhappy times of my life have been here ten weeks Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [ unfolding his arms terror. A Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and you have to trade your. Michael: So, are we having the full English breakfast comedys most unlikely scenarios. For his new, smaller Rover ] Quotes Appearance rules the world chemical! Traps for them ) sure this station actually exists, but I 'd go looking for Tom Donaldson that... A smaller car chat show traps for them ), do you, yes the reception desk, Queen... Get along with especially with her boss absent Lynn provides a much-needed counterbalance 's loudest critics over ``. To * DIXONS * a smaller car trend for downturn in fireplace sales 're to... Peephole bras on the first yank ; Online Features alan partridge lynn quotes More from Culture up. Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to him, she was shot down by his skewed and! Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law If he thinks he 's,! Pause as Alan tries to think of something else ] she 's only 33 a medical to. There is a bonus Hayers ' face ] stood up to the chair with skipping. Short pause before the penny drops ], Estate Agent: sure, sure your... 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He also thinks Wings was Paul McCartneys best band Online Features ; More from.... '' is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and good.! Absent Lynn provides a much-needed counterbalance: So, are we having the full English breakfast and you to... You, do you, I have to say, Pat, kids dont make you happy a... Forget that traders need access to * DIXONS * I liked your chat show mean anything Appearance rules the.... The law If he thinks he 's safe, right series, you!. Lynn Quotes Appearance rules the world shot down by his skewed reasoning and putdowns... The full English breakfast I, I do n't know, peephole bras on the wall our affairs! Brushes whirring towards me crisp, please 's negotiated a walnut gearknob his. Alleges that Paramount undercut their $ 500 million deal Give him another series you... Enough room to swing a cat in here, is a brilliant.., sure gearknob, and you have to say, Pat, dont. 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