However, just before christmas time, the same things started to happen again, effort drops off. I even asked around to see if anyone knew what happened and no one did. I got up today and did mine in bed, he continued browsing the web on his phone which is all he does now when we are together. i feel lonely in my relationship because it is very one sided. Its like you are not even there. I was the one initiating our relationship and I feel like he thinks just being there is enough for me. We are in LDR. to think I was already 32 years old still got fooled by a man. how to respond when your boyfriend stops texting you, When He Doesnt Make Time for You: How to Create More Love in Your Relationship, how to be an emotionally strong woman in your relationships, 11 Ways to Stop Being the Clingy Girlfriend in a Relationship, 6 Ways to Handle a Boyfriend Who Doesn't Have Time for You, What to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting or Calling You, Did He Stop Making an Effort? If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. He then told me it was the appropriate setting to tell me I was super cute. What do you do when your boyfriend hate you so much when he is drunk? Why doesnt he ever randomly surprise me, try to plan out dates, put a lot of thought into gifts, etc. I do far too many things for him. This became such an issue that, we fight basically every days I do everything to make his life easier. You cant let him be the center of your life! He expressed his anger in silence. And thats what messes with me a lotwhy doesnt he want to do the same for me. Ignoring a guy to get his attention is really about not giving up time for yourself and the things that make you happy. Im not sure where you landed with your relationship, but I hope things are better for you. I know this is an old post, but I want to acknowledge your feelings. I feel like Ive tried everything to get us back on track so weve just spoken on the phone & hes going to think about things tonight. Each weekend he has been helping his DJ friend ( his BFF), or going out with best buddies. Its not too much to ask- its very basic. If we cant COMMUNICATE with our guys needs to be worked on by both parties. There may be more social pressure on men to be the ones who go after women, but hes got feelings too. Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. It wasnt any thing bad. I dont know how to stop nagging him and always expecting things but Im so insecure at this point about where we stand and his feelings its like I just need validation. Try to change. yes I did give myself to him.he was my first.. and it was the second time I snuck out but I did everything for him and I get ignored. For a while there I was wondering if he was a narcissist, player or just using me. Then you explain and get everything fyn between you then after like two weeks he will he will give attitude again from no where five minutes he texts with love the other minutes he will text as if he doesnt care . I am lonely but at least Im not being rejected because Im not pretty enough or funny or have a lot of friends. I just dont know if Im asking for too much or if hes just making up excuses. In fact, he rejects them flat out. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. I have been dating my BF for 7 months now. I do want to believe its because of all his family issues that all this is happening but I am well known for making excuses for boyfriends when things arent right. Whenever I go anywhere its just me and the kids! I realized he got into gaming with a girl for a long time. If you ever need a friend dont hesitate to reach out. I used to be patient but recently Ive been having anger issues and he knows how to handle my mood accordingly. Ask yourself what could be causing your boyfriend to pull away from you. He even had a heartbreaking confession that he has been going through the years. Oddly enough he always deflects- citing the behavior hes guilty of against me like Im the one doing what he is.? I know how hard it is to let go, but you can do it. I always want to do cute things for him but almost stop and second guess myself because I question why I should if he doesnt do that for me, and more importantly, WHY doesnt he want to? Not ever. For example, he never said that he was looking forward to seeing me when he made plans to hang out, so I stopped doing that. I get everyday but we go like 3 weeks to a month to once a month. I stayed, I settled for hearing that he loves me and cares about me but all the ugly and mean things said and done between those few comments of praise and validation, was the permission given to keep doing it. Not only that sexual favors have been one sided for a long time now. I feel like my boyfriend of 5 years doesnt really care anymore. good luck to you. This quarantine also suddenly ruined my relationship. 6 Ways to Revive Your Relationship. I know for sure that he likes me as well. Actually they havnt shared any sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation. But how can we trust someone who says they love us and then, intentionally hurt us? We are ok, but I still do everything, I cook everything, he never cooks for me, I clean, washing, I get the shopping, he wont even take the bins out when I ask, because of my approach apparently. This guy is really bad for you, and you know it. I wish he understood how confused and unloved this makes me feel. Honestly,I am fully aware I do not want a relationship with someone who acts like this and makes me feel this way, but I am in love with him and our relationship is great, when he gives 100% which I can not let go of, when right now its about 10%. It breaks my heart not talking to him and hearing about his day but I know this was for the best. I hold my tension in about the pot than lash out on him cuz I know he wont change and stop smoking, but I also dont want to be with someone that doesnt make me feel special or loved. Has done things for me, in my own home. That also means i cant get a job either. I refused to go down his negative crazy road and left the room to get a cup of coffee and he prided himself on victory. We have been together for almost a year. A little reminder that you're an equal part of the relationship and have needs, too, could help redirect their focus. If the boyfriend didnt do that and kept saying he did nothing wrong, maybe it is time you find someone who can truly respect the beautiful soul you are. When we first started dating I personally felt like he put so much effort into me and the relationship. Even though he always said he would try. Did his feelings change? His emotions are totally unregulated. This makes me Am I the problem here? I dont want to talk about marriage or kids or the future. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. he straight up ignored and didnt read them.) He knew everything about my family and their pictures but not for me. But I am tired of not having a life together anymore. I just requested patience. But If they are not- I think you have to consider moving on. You want him to be different. So any advice for me would be great! Im planning to attend grad school this coming August and I havent manage to get all my stuff in yet because Im busy with my kiddos, house chores and helping him with work. If you do his laundry, stop. We both have made developments and decided to let go of our bad past. I then left home and came back a later day. Meaning if he doesnt step up when you pull back. Honestly, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention hungry narcissist permission to treat me like crap for 7 years. He hasnt wine and dine me yet, nor is affectionate until it comes to bed time. That should be enough. Could you be the one who's not listening? But in the last month, I have noticed that I am always initiating meeting with him, and he would suggest in the very same day or at the spare of the moment for me to pass by his place and we end up spending 2 hours or so with each other having sex and then I leave because one of us has a commitment. He begrudgingly paid the initial payment of $600 but was pissed because he expected me to spend my winter break, the first break Ive had for myself since before my mom got diagnosed with cancer on 2020, working full time to save up the $1800 tuition. I just want to have a nice time, an interesting conversation. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, i love him and I know he loves me back but, my biggest insecurity is him changing and being lazy in the relationship, which I have noticed he has been doing lately. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. Okay it became a longer answer than I expected! He has never had a serious relationship so he doesnt know that we could have gone through it together. Hi Looloo, My partner is the same. Advice please? I COOK,CLEAN , KIDSAND I WORK. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. But I guess it just shows how people handle stress. He stopped initiating sex and one day i found saved Google image searches under very specific terms saved on his phone and realized why i wasnt getting laid anymore. He barely calls me back when he sees my miss calls,i talked to him about it,he told me he is just stressed up with work.. Now he tries to call me at night or text me before he sleeps,he returns my calls,but things are not like before.. So I am working on adjusting my expectations so I dont get disappointed. I just dont understand why he refuses to accept how I feel. All I want is for us to share things I love together and not just his hobbies and interests. The first few months of the relationship that was a constant and we were dying to see eachother every other weekend. I am like at the I dont know what to do stage right now my boyfriend is not even home because I told him to just leave we got together super fast and since the beginning I noticed that he wasnt affectionate at all but I thought he might be shy but as time passed he still is non affectionate at all! He had PTSD, bi polar disorder and anxiety. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. My youngest is a 1 month and when she was about two weeks old he met this girl on a bar while hanging out with his best friend and got her number. everything stopped. If I dont ask him are we seeing each other today? Are you still in your relationship? This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. But I really wanted to build connections to his family because aside from him, I dont know anybody. Im just confused if he really want me he should have no excuses in having time with me. Everything has started crumbling over the last few months. So my boyfriend and I will have been together for a year this november. Perhaps he thinks guys dont need to make an effort in relationships, and girlfriends should do all the work. Since the beginning Ive always been the one making sure we talk, that we see each other. Hi. His temper and his childish attitude and how he has to be right all the time. You wish your boyfriend was as attentive and loving as he was at the beginning of your relationship. It can certainly take a negative toll on your relationship (and your self-esteem) if you constantly have to repeat yourself, you cant help but feel your S.O. In the beginning, I used to be very demanding and unreasonable towards my boyfriend when he didnt meet my expectations and basically caused him to withdraw emotionally and he stopped trying. Especially when fighting. This person flakes when we have plans even after I said that Im not here for that. Every time I ask, he gets upset, and starts an argument, so why do I bother? After his birthday he left his sisters and moved in with his mom. You want him to want you. He doesnt think. But I needed to know if he still wanted the relationship with me because he has been so distant. Surprising me with letters, giving me flowers and just little things like opening the door for me. Don't assume he's pulling away because of something you did. He said that Ive been making effort so can he. He has been going through a lot, with an unsupportive family, a broken ankle, financial troubles, depressionbut I have been steady and I have been supportiveI have loved him so well. FUNCITONING ALCOHOLIC. I asked about the plan we made and he didnt answer he started to be mean to me and not talk and then he hung up on me after saying he wasnt gonna go to hoco with me or prom and that he didnt love me. He can say he loves me and misses me million times a day but then he doesnt make an effort for us to be together when we could because hes just very comfortable. But I cant help but fear the same thing would happen again anytime soon.Im also an overthinker and I feel like hes losing interest cause hes been recently behaving like this frequently. Hes everything youd want in a guy except for the fact that hes not romantic at all, sometimes I feel like he puts no effort into anything. It was two day before his birthday so this was like a birthday present. Communication is not good. He knows im going to have sex with him if he initiates it because im 36 years old and NEVER EVER EVER have sex. I leave him love notes and make him dinner all the time and he doesnt match my effort. And i just wish the fighting would stop, i seriously cant take. SO , I DONT KNOW BUT IM FEELING AT THE END OF MY ROPE. I recently said I needed a romantic date, and other things kept coming up. And youll likely receive the same treatment. I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. Of all the relationships you have, I was the best one, I did everything for you and this is how you pay me back. From what i have learned about him, I know he is someone who does not really know what dating is. i think if i knew he wasnt capable of doing these things i wouldnt feel so strongly. The only thing I get from him are words. This is literally me. Sometimes when I try to kiss him he shoved me away. Sister, dump his ass How it seems he is not all down for you, and using you just to get what he wants. I love him very much, he often talks about our future, kids and stuff but he isnt willing to do any sacrifices for the relationship. However his texts are friendly, never intimate or flirty. If youre not happy then leave him, its that simple. Letting Go of Someone You Loveis filled with comforting, practical ways to heal your heart. He said he wanted to have a deeper talk about expectations and his four years old son before we can be official. It lasted 4 days. He said the reason we broke up was because of different love languages, arguing, and that he was not as emotionally available as I need him to be. We have been together about a year and a half, when we are together we have fun and our intimacy is great. Then we signed our new real lease together and I dont know how we got where we got but he started getting lazy. He felt his place was his and he wanted to keep his place sacred and clean! I started skate boarding and going to the skate park. Hes talking about going to a rave and doing drugs and asked me to go.Tbh I just think he wants me to pay for everything. Do I deserve this? We had the break up talk several times a day, and at the end of it, it was one of the other begging to stay together because they believed we could fix it. It was over a year ago that I asked my boyfriend if he would take me out on a date, but it never happen. Flakes when we are together we have been together for a long time that sexual favors been. Cant let him be the center of your life needs to be worked by. Before christmas time, the same for me sex with him if he still wanted the relationship was... Again, effort drops off sexual pictures or that was not very sexual conversation Im to... Tries to make an effort in relationships, and starts an argument, so do! 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